Full-body and targeted workouts incorporating muscular endurance, cardiovascular work, stretching, and some boxing fundamentals (depending on interest). In short: total conditioning for all your earthly shenanigans. No drill sergeants, no boot-camp fanaticism, just a comprehensive outdoor session at your desired level of intensity… until you drop like a fly from the wall.
Group Drop-out classes: ANU ovals, UC ovals, John Knight Park (Lake Ginninderra). We may also take excursions from our little discomfort zone to run a circuit or mountain trail. Flexible days and times (majority preference). Group classes are strictly limited to 300 people. Only the original 12 are to be known as the Dirty Dozen. $10 per session. As you’d expect, the first class is free.
Group training sessions presently underway (as at 22/05/2013):
Wednesday 7:15am (ANU)
Saturday 2:30pm (ANU)
Personal Flailing: Flexible days, times, and locations. I’ll cycle to any suitable outdoor location (parks, ovals, trails, nature reserves, etc) within a 3.14159 mile radius of Belconnen’s epicenter as defined by the google gods. Every mile after that deserves a banana. We’ll design your personalized training regimen and get on with it. Drop me a telegram, carrier pigeon, or e-mail. $40 per hour. No celebrities.
Attendance is by invitation only. Write me with a brief summary of your athletic background, present activity level and fitness goals, preferred training times and locations, a minimum of three professional and/or academic references, a recent psychoanalyst’s report, and a police background check.
Frequently Anticipated Questions:
Q: Where exactly do we meet?
A: Just follow someone at random and you’re likely to find us. Or you can RSVP and I’ll reply with the actual location.
Q: What should I bring?
A: ‘A towel… is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.’ – Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And water.
Q: What’s the damage again?
A: Group classes are $10 or whatever you think is fair, whichever is the greater. Personal training prices are calculated against a thorough income assessment, means test and tax audit, by which we will arrive at more or less exactly $40 per hour. Students under 65 years receive a $5/hr student discount, and are subject to a $5/hr student surcharge.
Q: Who is this upstart anyway?
A: Late 20′s, male, background in hopscotch, jump-rope and marbles. You can dig my escapades elsewhere on this site.
Q: Are you even qualified?
A: Is a tiger qualified to pounce, an eagle to soar, a leaf-cutter ant to gnaw through a flake of chlorophyll and walk vertically up and down his tree?
Q: No but seriously, why should I let you train me?
A: My athletic portfolio (present to past) includes: regular, intensive distance running (especially trail and mountain running), commuting ‘most everywhere by bicycle (and not some slick road bike either, but a heavy mountain dog), 5 summers of commercial, high-volume whitewater rafting (one of the most physically intensive jobs out there), kayaking on the side, a black belt in traditional jujitsu, a decade of weight training, and a two-year stint in the Australian Army Reserve (infantry).
If you’re into bits of paper: Wilderness & Remote First Aid (valid to June 11, 2015), Swiftwater Rescue Technician (valid to June 16, 2015) – in case you fall into Sullivan’s Creek.
I also have a coaching certificate from the Australian Institute of Sport (this sounds fancy but was completed entirely online – don’t be fooled by papers of pomp and pedigree).
Q: What makes your gig unique?
A: Oh nothing. Just my top secret Fitness Filosophy and Training Principles.
Contact: falloverfitness(at)gmail(dot com)
Don’t be Stood Up
If you are not logged in to wordpress, you may see an irritating ad for some random garbage below this text. This is planted here, miraculously through wordpress itself, without my permission. Ignore it!